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Alone and Unobserved

00:09 @Favstar So I can just multiply today's stars by a factor of four, then? w00t #

00:24 @pastavolante You have snails? Or rather, had snails? #

00:48 @DaveHolmes "Ruin a near-stranger's day today: 'reconnect' with them on Facebook!" #

09:57 My mom just posted some pics of my Nana after her third or fourth fall this week. She looks *terrible,* all bruised and swolllen and sad. :( #

11:09 @jcfitzner I imagine because CNN really does care about seeming "fair and balanced," even if that means harboring a crazy. #

11:12 @jcfitzner True. But it's still better than Faux News's version of "fair and balanced," where the truth doesn't even enter into it. #

11:19 @jonrosenberg Wow, that was some pretty egregious quote-pulling right there. Especially since the NEXT SENTENCE gave the necessary context. #

11:31 This cracked me up :) tinyurl.com/y92pvgw (via @lessiebrown) #

11:43 Patron: My friend said you guys give away free books.

Coworker: Maybe your friend meant you can *check them out* for free?

Patron: No. #

11:58 RT @wonderella Flipping the bean is probably the most feminist thing Carrie Prejean has ever done. #

12:39 We've been invaded by 1,000,000 9-yr-olds on some lame scavenger hunt. NO I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY STEPS THERE ARE IN THE LIBRARY GO AWAY #

12:49 @erinannie I could be wrong, but they're acting more like "public school teachers w/ unruly students" than "parents w/ children." #

12:50 @erinannie Maybe a private school group? #

13:13 @jdnorton Hmm. We get scavenger hunts that occasionally take over the building, but I don't remember one in August. Was it GINORMOUS? #

13:50 "As Jesus said: 1st ostracize the people who ick you out, THEN feed and clothe the poor IF THERE'S TIME." bit.ly/3JlTnd — @DaveHolmes #

13:52 @chrislbs heh. :D #


Nothing to see here. Move right along. #

15:47 @jdnorton Wow. Suddenly I wish I *had* been there for it. #

15:49 @JoshSPeters What is TASLUT? #

16:14 HILARIOUS. RNC insurance plan covers abortion tr.im/EQJk (via @Strwbrry_Blonde) #

16:23 @ryandpaul Yeah, I'd say that's pretty fucking ironic. :D #

16:36 @clapifyoulikeme Certainly not in Sandy, UT, or in the fundy Mormon polygamist enclaves. #

20:49 I think this evening needs more wine and fewer heterosexuals.

Oops. Did I say that out loud? #

20:54 @ryanmer At my house. EVERYONE IS SPEAKING GERMAN. I am drinking wine. #

20:57 @heydebhenry Aww. :( At this point, I'm not even asking for someone unmarried. :-/ #

20:59 @J0rdster Hehe. Well, it's the thought that counts. :) #

21:14 RT @wilw: I sure would like to know why @Twitter thinks removing the "in reply to" context is somehow an improvement for its users. #

21:49 My neighbors complained about my TV-watching habits. It seems my high-pitched gay laughter wakes their baby up?

So, no more 30 Rock for me. #

21:55 I'm a tad drunk on dry Riesling—you're gonna have to dumb down your "Internet Humor" to my level if you want your star.

My mom what now? #

21:57 @shadrach That's certainly my dream. #

22:09 @hotdogsladies Stop trying to teach me about myself. When I'm DRUNK.

I don't understand anything I read right now. #

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01:05 Things that have surpassed my wildest expectations: W Lounge's "Soul Night"; @borgdrone's slavish adulation of Tori Amos; peanut butter. #

09:26 Major FAIL at our staff training today—they ran out of coffee right before I arrived. I figure that means I can just go home, right? #

10:15 ♫ Katherine, kiss me
Flick your cigarette then kiss me
Flick your eyes at mine so briefly...
blip.fm/~g6zm0 #

10:17 love this image of atheists in foxholes: bit.ly/3X1Z94 (via @janaremy) #

10:21 @chrislbs Yuck. #

11:01 Another example of how Utah liquor laws make ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING SENSE: Virgin drinks only at distillery opening j.mp/aA6nJ #

11:11 Laughing inappropriately at Twitter in a staff training session. Oh, @favstar. Thanks for working with me to get me fired. #

11:30 .@ryanmer is taking pics instead of paying attention to this presentation on car-less commuting. Why does he hate the planet so much?? #

11:36 I keep promising I'll start riding my bike to work again...then I imagine hauling it up the basement stairs & the idea dies a natural death. #

11:50 @MariaSpeedRacer It's almost as if his idea of "funny" is COMPLETELY SKEWED. #

11:58 Ooh, @ryanmer just made a comment. He has so much to teach us about noncynical participation.

Bwahahahaha! I kill me. #

12:32 On the one hand, I didn't get today off. On the other hand, I'm being paid to eat lunch & watch ppl yank hopefully on the locked doors. Hee. #

13:16 @AltF4LJDrama Nope, we're closed—but we have staff training, so we don't get the day off. #

13:55 On the one hand, I didn't get today off. On the other hand, I'm being paid to eat lunch & watch ppl yank hopefully on the locked doors. Hee. #

13:56 (The last was a repost, bc Tweetie, Ping.fm and Twitter were all being butts.) #

13:57 @AltF4LJDrama Oh there's tons of coffee here in Heathenland. Salt Lake is nearly overrun with coffeehouses, thank the Good Lord. #

14:45 Feeling so revitalized by this staff training day!

If it doesn't end soon, there will be blood. #

15:40 @angryyoungwoman Ouchie. :( #

17:03 Why did I set up a Google Calendar notification to remind me of my own birthday? Have I forgotten it in the past? I... I don't remember. O.O #

17:05 @DoryenChin No, it's a week from tomorrow. I guess another question is: why did I have it notify me more than a week in advance??? #

17:09 @xJane It's actually not until a week from tomorrow. EVEN CURIOUSER. #

17:41 @evndahm I just saw her! She's an amazing performer. Go see her—you won't regret it. #

18:07 @bibliogrrl Definitely not worth $200, especially if you can make it yourself. Doesn't look *that* hard. #

18:35 I have one glass of wine and suddenly I turn into Twitter Oprah.

YOU get a star!

And YOU get a star!

You ALL get stars!!!! #

18:38 @darthbender YOU GET A STAR DAMMIT #

18:42 @J0rdster I don't need any tea, and the wine I'm drinking isn't horribly exciting, but you're welcome to share some, if you like. #

18:43 @jebro The key is to be a dehydrated lightweight drinking on an empty stomach. :D #

18:55 @Sundry Are they watching a scary movie? I'm not sure I get it. #

18:58 @Melindir I'm not sure I'd have the foresight to make that decision while I was still coherent. :D #

19:02 @Sundry Ohhhhh. Of course. :D #

19:47 @erinannie I regularly test to see if I'm lactose intolerant. And I always, always am. :'( #

20:04 Bowdler.





#namesIhavepubliclyembarrassedmyselfbymispronouncing #whatcanIsayIwashomeschooled #

20:41 @xJane Try pronouncing them like "boulder," "kally-ope," "jertrude" and "puh-MAY-luh" #

20:41 @xJane ...and pronouncing "Gorbachev" the way it's spelled instead of like "Gorbachoff." #

21:41 @bibliogrrl Suddenly *I* want a double-circle swing skirt. :D #

22:03 @Doxees How old is your brother/his teammates? #

22:04 @Sundry Curse you for making me weep. #

22:06 @Doxees Little League goes until FIFTEEN??? I had no idea.

Obviously I never played in Little League.

Or in any sport whatsoever. :D #

23:31 A video, IN WHICH WE LEARN how Mariska Hargitay "breaks in" CSI:SVU guest stars; AND IN WHICH I come in my pants. j.mp/4trUFk #

23:32 @darthbender Don't hate me because I don't know what Fall Out Boy is. #

23:33 And of course I meant Law & Order: SVU. Law & Order, CSI: all shows I do not watch. #

23:36 @erinannie Never heard of it.

...is that a Fall Out Boy lyric? #

23:48 @erinannie Ohhh, it's the band Pete Wentz is in. Yeah, I'd never listened to them before, but I guess I knew they existed. #

23:59 @darthbender Yes, I thought it was genius. w00t! #

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09:29 @semiamerican Yeah. I wouldn't say it was entirely unexpected, but still disappointing. :( #

09:30 @darthbender And you didn't say hi??? Unforgiveable. #

10:14 @natheist Tell me about it. I wish they'd just de-friend me already! God. #

10:42 @Doxees I blame Ping.fm for "shortening" an already shortened j.mp link and making it run over 140 chars. :P #

10:43 "Preferisco ragionare anziché credere: ecco perché sono ateo!" j.mp/25Ed0f #atheism #nogod #

11:28 @beatonna Pushkin! Or Solzhenitsyn? j.mp/4DH7v #

11:29 RT @byx: My guess is Glenn Beck was fed from lead-lined cookware. #

11:43 @ryanmer Me in that shirt: j.mp/BpDvN

Where I got it: j.mp/442imz

I obviously don't wear it enough, since I'm still single. #

14:10 Lady, you nearly ran me down in the crosswalk while on your cell phone. An apologetic smile & rueful wave don't cut it!

Hara kiri, MAYBE. #

16:12 @MonicaBielanko I'm convinced I have Dallin Oaks—and that "interview" specifically—to blame for the way my parents have treated me. :-/ #

16:13 @MonicaBielanko Well, I also have my parents to blame, of course. #

19:02 @pastavolante I struggle with the same dilemma. *sigh* #

20:03 @erinalberty Awesome! Do you at least have someone to help you eat it? #

20:07 @darthbender @merkprof @erinalberty ...he's also really, really hot. *swoon* #

20:15 @erinalberty Both! But specifically Liev Schreiber. OM NOM NOM NOM. #

22:08 Sitting in a bar, talking shop with other librarians. @ryanmer is bitching about The Onion. So, you know. The usual. #

22:32 @borgdrone Out loud: once. But I've seen him thinking about it, and heard it echoing behind everything he says, approx once a second. #

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16:26 How dare I politely inform you of library policy, you ask? Maybe I should've shouted & gotten personal. Like you're doing. Ma'am.

My bad. #

16:29 RT @Erinmack "ISN'T THIS AMERICA???" No sir, its the library. #

16:35 @slignot If I could murder telepathically via phone, no doubt I already would have. :P #

16:59 My 2nd fave part of my job? Directory assistance calls.

1st fave? Patrons blaming me bc the listed # didn't work.

Tough titties. Call 411. #

17:06 @Doxees It was originally just "Tough," but I felt that lacked some much-needed contemptuous punch. :D #

17:10 @ticmotion I am dramatic enough for twenty mild-mannered librarians. :D #

17:27 Howard Stephensen's statement on the food tax just goes to prove he isn't anti tax when you are taxing low/mid class. #utah (via @BrenSmth) #

18:14 On page 86 of 320 of Od Magic by Patricia A. McKillip #

19:10 @baileygenine All I can say is, it sounds like you're doing it SO VERY RIGHT. #

19:15 COMICS:

Surly Wonder Woman Saves the Day ping.fm/PpwZM


Mistakes were made ping.fm/a2nbw (via @beatonna and @birdlord) #

19:47 @fuzzpup I love, love LOVE her Riddle-Master books. I also love The Forgotten Beasts of Eld and Ombria in Shadow. You should check them out! #

20:09 Just spent five minutes convincing a patron that, while he CAN renew the books he checked out today, he really SHOULDN'T. #

20:54 "I get super excited when I walk past someone's house in Utah and they are watching Rachel Maddow and not Faux News." — @heydebhenry #

21:28 @saltcitydogs I assume @heydebhenry meant FOX, but even if she didn't that's what *I* meant when I retweeted it. :D #

22:49 @renchops Not tonight. Too tired. I heard there was something at the W Lounge tomorrow, though, and I was thinking of going. #

23:10 If gay marriage opponents really cared about child welfare, they'd pay attention to this study. They don't, so they won't ping.fm/GLm #

23:15 @NteeJ Exactly. *sigh* #

23:18 Hmm. Ping.fm to the rescue again... try this link instead: bit.ly/2Rl2BY #

23:58 It is a truth universally acknowledged that when you've watched GetOnMyHorse.com 5X in a row & STILL KEEP WATCHING, it's time for bed (NSFW) #

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10:48 On page 63 of 272 of Winter Rose by Patricia A. McKillip #

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00:04 Not looking forward to trying to sleep on my back for the next however many weeks/months. *sigh*

Impulse piercings. WHEN WILL I LEARN??? #

08:02 @writteninearth Oh, just my ears. But I always slept on my side before. :-/ j.mp/W1hdz #

08:05 @Doxees Here's a pic I took yesterday: ping.fm/p/8qhDA #

09:26 @xJane Yeah, I'm not sure how I'll manage until they're healed. Last night was ROUGH. #

09:29 Coworker: Good morning! How's it going?

Me: ...I'm eating Burger King. I think that says it all. #

10:18 Sir—no, sir, I don't need you to—sir, please stop spelling you name and ask your goddamned question! #

10:22 Listen, you little punk, if you're going to sass me over the phone, you can damn well get on the internet and look up your own damn account. #

10:24 My newly-pierced ears aren't happy I'm spending the morning answering phones.

...is the story I'm gonna go with, I think. #

10:37 My throat's sore & my voice is raw from screaming & hollering last night, but Regina Spektor was worth every twinge. ♫ ping.fm/mALB6 #

10:53 @heydebhenry I hear vertical diner's pancakes are pretty good. #

11:36 NEW FROM DYSON!!! Wonderella wants it now. ping.fm/PSk2Q (and the context: ping.fm/w1ffp) #

13:36 Promise me I never again have to take a call from an adult who doesn't understand the concept of a 'phone book.' PLEASE PROMISE ME. #FML #

13:38 @jodim OMG he's adorable! Suddenly I want one. :( #

13:56 @gettsr *sigh* Same here. :-/ #

13:57 @erinannie ...why??? #

14:00 RT @cpinck Annie Lennox probably hates being around other people when it starts raining. Well, she’d hate being around me anyway @jcfitzner #

14:09 I never realized how often I tug at my earlobes until OH MY FUCK THAT HURTS WE'VE GOT A BLEEDER #

14:14 @slcfoodie Tuiles with sorbet. CHOCOLATE-DIPPED tuiles. #

14:32 @slcfoodie Sadly, no. :( #

14:36 @FanEffingTastic If he's slapping you in the forehead w/ it, at least you have the comfort of knowing he's just as out of practice as you. #

15:08 On page 35 of 144 of The Changeling Sea by Patricia A. McKillip #

15:14 "Which is funnier to observe in a park-like setting, hipsters or gangstas?

TRICK QUESTION. The correct answer is goths." — @CcSteff #

15:44 @Slowtrain I love Vinto! Someday I will try some of their non-pizza items. :D #

15:52 @euphor Being at Wal-Mart makes me realize I'M A PERSON WHO GOES TO WAL-MART. #

16:16 @euphor Ah, okay. It's rarely if ever my choice either, so I feel a bit better about myself. :D #

16:28 @Slowtrain I've had a few different kinds of pizza, multiple gelatos and sorbettos, and liquor. What've you tried? #

16:50 ping.fm/p/jj2Bu - I CAN'T SEE

send help #

16:55 Why yes, cute German/Scandinavian/whatever man, of course I'll help you access the internet.


17:03 I don't even know what I mean. #

17:25 @darthbender LOL #

17:47 RT @Shoq Liberals are evil. They want to feed, educate & shelter people, and protect the planet for future generations. Bastards! #p2 #tcot #

18:01 Patron: How late will you not be open?

Me: I'm sorry?

Patron: When do you close?


18:08 @DoryenChin That's a good one. I should save that up for the next weirdo who calls... #

21:30 @chosha Yeah, it made no sense on any level. :P #

22:30 Really wish you guys could witness the endless monologue TJ is performing in our loving room right now. Equal parts brilliant and CUCKOO. #

23:11 @aurosan WHAT. NO. #

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09:12 @MonicaBielanko No, I'm pretty sure that's a prime example of Getting Things Right. #

09:26 @euphor What did the sign say? #

09:34 @Sundry Chop! #


somebody stop me #

10:12 Oh. My. God. "What To Do If Romulans Invade a Renaissance Fair" bit.ly/1FVqms (via @knappst3r) #

10:26 ♫ Said the owl
To the moon
"All I need
Is the light
On the sea"
ping.fm/z7rag #

10:57 @SistersTalk That's insane. What better/more descriptive keywords could you possibly choose? #

11:02 Wow. New xkcd: LEGO. xkcd.com/659/ (via @Saintless) #

11:07 Yahoo headline asked is Ft Hood attack "crime or terrorism." Legit question—but why don't we ask it when Xian crazies kill? (via @MattBors) #

12:57 Stalking cute guys in the grocery store.

Like a CAT. A shameless *gay* cat.

Rowr. #

13:31 BSed my way through homework. Hung out at store w/ the cool kids. Now off to KOI Piercing to make sure I can never get another job, ever. #

13:32 RT @ryanmer: RT @martytylermoore An annoyance of hipsters #collectivenouns #

14:17 @slignot Six-gauge ear piercings. #

14:19 @almightygod "Uh... Thanks? I guess?" #

14:55 ping.fm/p/Qt87Z - New gauges! Hurt like a mofo and I bled like a stuck pig. Didn't
scream or pass out, though. YET. #

15:02 @xJane They're actually topaz-colored, but if they'd had ruby I'd probably have gone with that. :D #

15:05 @jdnorton Dermal punch—thus all the bleeding. :P #

15:17 @Doxees Because you're young and free and the world is yours and it's 1997. #

15:29 @jdnorton I shall know for next time. :D #

15:32 White House Claims They Are Not Secretly Lizard Aliens: bit.ly/1TMpez (via @rachelsklar) #

15:49 ping.fm/p/4SMWA - Sign at the coffee shop I'm sitting in. #

15:50 @jdnorton It has a 6-gauge glass post with a wider cap/stud. #

15:54 @Merkprof Are you setting up some kind of horrific pun? Bc I can't be party to that kind of crime against humanity. #

15:56 @jdnorton Yeah, I think there would've been screaming and writhing and fainting if I'd gone straight to a 0. :D #

16:19 @J0rdster Yup. :) #

17:18 ping.fm/p/8qhDA - A better picture of one of my new ear gauges. They're 6-gauge, so the post
is smaller than what you see. #

18:03 Going to see Regina Spektor tonight! Or, if you are my Canadian roommate, "Rejyna" Spektor. #

18:33 @Tron02 ...and Jeremy Northam. AKA Mr. Knightley. *sigh* #

18:38 @xJane I'll take pictures! It'll be ALMOST LIKE YOU'RE THERE! #

18:46 @xJane He claims he's influenced by Regina, Saskatchewan, which is pronounced egregiously wrong. I have not given him any slack, though! #

19:15 ping.fm/p/IkNHr - Jupiter One onstage at In the Venue. #

19:38 Openers packing up; now waiting for Regina! #

20:14 ping.fm/p/abbYz - Regina starts her set!!!!! So much screaming, you have never heard. #

20:20 Regina is PHENOMENAL. I wish I could say the same for the idiots standing in front of me. #

20:54 ping.fm/p/lUOsv - Regina Spektor, being gorgeous and AMAZING. #

20:55 ping.fm/p/uhblC - Regina, a cappella. #

21:25 @Cshift3 LOL That is hilarious. Of course, I grew up thinking "fart" was a swear word, so... heh. No room to talk here. :D #

21:26 @karinkydink She's amazing. I'd never seen here live before. My voice is raw from screaming. :D #

23:44 There's no dignified way to soak your ear in a bowl of salt water. You're gonna look like a fool. Embrace it.

We'll take pictures & laugh. #

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00:42 I've de-authed, removed, re-added and re-authed Ping.fm & Twitter YET AGAIN. Let's see if they'll play together now! #

10:06 @fruhwirth Yeah, I guess, kind of. Except, at least when I lived there, "Provo-edgy" implied "Shops exclusively at thrift stores." #

10:30 RT @almightygod: Someone needs to explain to Dinesh D'Souza what the word "evidence" means. is.gd/4O1Be #

11:08 "There's a fine line btwn 'generic person from the 80s' and 'Janice from the Muppet Show'"... ♫ ping.fm/Mas9g (via @ryanqnorth!) #

16:15 With the repeal of gay marriage rights in Maine, I'm angry all over again at my family for supporting Prop 8. Christmas looms. :-/ #

16:28 @Doxees No matter how angry I am with them, I turn into a complete non-confrontational mouse around my family. *sigh* #

16:28 @Doxees But I'll listen to any devious ideas you come up with. #

16:50 Looking at my hometown in Google Street View, it's amazing how much the place has changed... and how much it hasn't. ping.fm/me547 #

19:18 @borgdrone AHAHAHA no of course not. Everyone knows tree skirts are knitted or crocheted. #

19:47 @abbiejane My family's nice...as long as certain topics don't come up. Then they change the subject. And donate to Prop 8 behind my back. :( #

19:50 What I was doing while I was in the tub tonight. ping.fm/F5z8w #

20:34 @J0rdster This is where I confess that I read your reply WHILE POOPING. #

20:53 Improv Everwhere loves lunch! (with surprise musical guest @AnnCurry!) ping.fm/u0lEU #

21:09 @erinannie I understand. My naked raw talent can be intimidating for newbies. #

21:23 @brandelion Wow, your Christmas sounds worse than mine. At least I can count on my family to avoid all even remotely controversial topics. #

21:24 @brandelion Well, except for Mormonism, which they will mention at least once a sentence, not even realizing they are doing it. #

21:35 Thanks to @Doxees for getting this stuck in my head.
♫MIA PICCINA fosti tutta la mia vita sei fuggita e non torni più♫ ping.fm/mdKzO #

23:28 @J0rdster I'd let him talk to me about the situation in Afghanistan ANY time. :D #

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00:05 Here's a fun game! Let's look through my Twitter feed and figure out what percentage of updates @pingfm neglected to post. Yippee! #

00:10 @writteninearth Yeah, it's def frustrating. But in a few years, homophobia will have no political traction at all. That'll be interesting. #

00:12 @chosha Absolutely! Taking away rights from minorities isn't just the American dream, it's the *WORLDWIDE* dream! #

12:28 "Maine continues to take drastic steps to deny its same-sex feelings for New Hampshire.

Shh, shh, Maine. Just let it happen." —@katefeetie #

12:50 THIS JUST IN: I've been informed I passed my lib sci "capstone experience." Maybe now I should work on passing my classes this semester? #

13:24 Those darn gays get what they deserve—again!—on The Colbert Report ping.fm/GVteq #

13:30 "Approval of interracial marriage in the US didn't cross the positive threshold until—sweet God—1991." ping.fm/ueBZr (via @GuardianUS #

13:34 Not sure what happened w/ that last update. That was supposed to be via @GuardianUSA. #

14:04 Kristen Wiig reads from the early poems of Suzanne Somers. "I wish they wouldn't waste it on dogs." ping.fm/4bqZ3 (via @jacobtwop) #

15:38 “My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says 'Majority rules, fagballs.'” — @DaveHolmes #

15:49 @Sundry Ah, yes, that moment when you discover your offspring is a Child of the Corn. Or an actual spawn of Satan.

Perfectly normal. #

20:37 On page 147 of 304 of In The Forests of Serre by Patricia A. McKillip #

22:38 OMG Matthew Hoh is so hot.

I mean, I *really* care about the situation in Afghanistan. Could I have a minute alone to contemplate it? #

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00:21 All right, I take back all that skeptical grumbling and crankiness: Where the While Things Are blew me away. Unique, bittersweet, tender. #

00:48 @AltF4LJDrama I may have to try that. I would hate to lose my favorite shirt to the plague that is Bacon Grease Reek. #

00:55 @gettsr Yeah, yeah, yeah. I WAS WRONG. I feel like I was trampled on a bit by that movie, though. Still haven't recovered. #

09:24 @abbiejane It's fantastic! It's also not really a kid's movie, surprisingly. #

10:10 Trying out gdzl.la's new Tweetie 2/Flickr integration. By posting a horrific self-portrait to Twitter. Yay? gdzl.la/78djCJ #

10:13 Oh look, it "worked." #

10:51 Why do I ever read the comments on news articles? Now I have indigestion and a headache. #

10:56 Questions for @ruthreichl: Clearing the Table bit.ly/3eoUVC (via @nytimes) #

12:15 The next Mormon I hear saying they were just "exercising their right to vote" during Prop 8 is going to get a goddamn LESSON in civics. #

13:09 @J0rdster Yeah, for a church that preaches free choice so loudly it's hilarious how little free choice they want their members to exercise. #

14:22 "When you guys get all heated about sports it sounds like an asylum arguing over whose Pez tastes most like Middle-earth." – @hotdogsladies #

16:04 iPhone:$299
iPhone accessory:$70
iPhone warning—"Accessory not supported by iPhone": APPLE CAN SUCK A BAG OF DICKS
Bag of dicks: Priceless #

16:06 @garrett_film Ohhhh—someone ELSE's grandma.

I hope? #

16:09 @afu1979 Are you talking about the ads where Ozzie stumbles senilely around his mansion in search of a bathroom? #

16:12 .@garrett_film Now I'm wondering when the drinks are gonna start at my brother's wedding. If it's any later than 9am, I'm bringing a flask. #

16:54 @afu1979 Suddenly those commercials make SO MUCH MORE SENSE. #

17:09 Had this yesterday—delicious! RT @caffedbolla On the siphon: Guatemala Finca José Ocaña. Dry red wine w/ aromatic & sweet fruit notes. #

19:27 Things my friend said AT HIS WIFE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY. flic.kr/p/78gg7r #

19:55 In which my pretty face is in CONSTANT DANGER from ENEMIES OF ART flic.kr/p/78gyXH #

20:51 I do not know who MC Chris is. flic.kr/p/78hcHp #

21:31 IN WHICH everyone talks about Amanda ALL EVENING flic.kr/p/78mz31 #

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